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20th June 2003 01:04 #1
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Proper Blowjob Etiquitte
Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head we're bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
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20th June 2003 02:11 #2
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20th June 2003 11:07 #3
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20th June 2003 11:10 #4
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20th June 2003 11:53 #5-Originally posted by wild rain
?
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If you can read this, then you aren't "well" verclockd yet...!!!
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20th June 2003 12:05 #6
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20th June 2003 14:35 #7
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20th June 2003 16:16 #8
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20th June 2003 16:23 #9
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20th June 2003 16:24 #10
, williamdark ICQ- . :boom:
"After Y2K the end of the world had become a cliche. But who was I to talk, a brooding underdog avenger alone against an empire of evil out to right a grave injustice. Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliche whn it's happening to you."
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20th June 2003 16:32 #11
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20th June 2003 16:34 #12
. . , . , - .
"... .."
. - . , .. [joke] [/joke]If you can read this, then you aren't "well" verclockd yet...!!!
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20th June 2003 16:35 #13
... PEACE
Last edited by williamdark; 20th June 2003 at 16:41.
williamdark*gmail.com
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20th June 2003 16:49 #14
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20th June 2003 16:52 #15
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20th June 2003 18:02 #16
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20th June 2003 22:18 #17
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21st June 2003 00:12 #18
, NoDude! , . ( , .... !).
WOMAN , .... ... .... !
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The genius is simple!
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21st June 2003 10:32 #19
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22nd June 2003 13:11 #20, , /, 100%Originally posted by false truth
WOMAN , .... ... .... !
Mollov, Mollov
Runnin' .... some mighty d20s... now...
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22nd June 2003 16:00 #21
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22nd June 2003 16:05 #22
" " "We are simple" -, ( - ...)
williamdark*gmail.com
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22nd June 2003 16:13 #23, /, - ...Originally posted by Mollov
, , /, 100%
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22nd June 2003 17:32 #24E, .... - " , .."Originally posted by Metanoia
, /, - ...
-, ....
Mollov, Mollov
Runnin' .... some mighty d20s... now...




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