Results 1 to 4 of 4
Thread: Èíñòðóêöèè è ðåêëàìè
Hybrid View
-
11th July 2004 02:52 #1
Èíñòðóêöèè è ðåêëàìè
Òîâà, ìàé îùå íå å ìèíàëî.

Íÿêîè ñà ñòàðè÷êè, îáà÷å èìà íÿêîëêî, êîèòî íå çíàåõ è áÿõà ñïîëó÷ëèâè! Íàçäðàâå!
 ÿïîíñêè õîòåë:
"Óìîëÿâàìå âè äà ñå âúçïîëçâàòå îò ïðèñëóæíèöàòà!"
 àâñòðèéñêè õîòåë:
" ñëó÷àé íà ïîæàð íàïðàâåòå âñè÷êî âúçìîæíî äà óâåäîìèòå ïîðòèåðà!"
 ïàðèæêè õîòåë:
"Îñòàâåòå ñè öåííîñòèòå íà ðåöåïöèÿòà!"
Âúðõó õîòåëñêà øàïêà çà áàíÿ:
"Ïîáèðà ñàìî åäíà ãëàâà!"
 àòèíñêè õîòåë:
"Î÷àêâàìå ïîñåòèòåëèòå äà ñå îïëàêâàò íà ðåöåïöèÿòà åæåäíåâíî ìåæäó 9 è 11
÷.!"
 ñòàÿ íà ìîñêîâñêè õîòåë:
"Àêî òîâà å ïúðâîòî âè ïîñåùåíèå â Ðóñèÿ, äîáðå äîøëè!"
 êîðèäîðà íà äðóã ðóñêè õîòåë:
"Âñè÷êè ïîæàðîãàñèòåëè òðÿáâà äà ñå ïðîâåðÿâàò íàé-ìàëêî 10 äíè ïðåäè
ïîæàð!"
Íà ñòðîèòåëíà ïëîùàäêà:
"Íîùíèÿò ïàçà÷ ïàòðóëèðà ðàéîíà 24 ÷àñà íà äåí!"
 áðúñíàðíèöà:
"Äíåñ ïîäñòðèæêè íà ïîëîâèí öåíà. Ïî åäíà íà êëèåíò!"
Îòâúòðå íà âðàòàòà íà àñàíñüîð:
"Ìîëÿ, íå èçïîëçâàéòå àñàíñüîðà ïðè ïîâðåäà!"
Íà æåëåçîïúòåí ïðåëåç:
"Ïàçåòå ñå îò âëàêîâå, ïðåìèíàâàùè åäíîâðåìåííî â äâåòå ïîñîêè!"
 ðèìñêà ïåðàëíÿ:
"Ãîñïîæè, îñòàâåòå ñè äðåõèòå òóê è ïðåêàðàéòå ïðèÿòíî ñëåäîáåäà!"
 ãèøå çà áèëåòè íà àâèîêîìïàíèÿ â Êîïåíõàãåí:
"Íèå âçåìàìå âàøèÿ áàãàæ è ãî èçïðàùàìå âúâ âñè÷êè ïîñîêè íà ñâåòà!"
 ðîäèëíî îòäåëåíèå âúâ Ôëîðèäà:
"Çàáðàíåíî çà äåöà!"
Íà äîê â Àëÿñêà:
"Ñïàñèòåëíà ñòúëáà, êà÷âàíåòî å íà âàøà îòãîâîðíîñò!"
Íà îãðàäà:
"Ìèíàâàíåòî çàáðàíåíî. Íàðóøèòåëèòå ùå áúäàò ïðåñëåäâàíè ñ öÿëàòà ñèëà íà
çàêîíà - Ñåñòðè íà ìèëîñúðäèåòî."
 öúðêîâåí äâîð:
"Ïîðàäè íàðàñòâàùèòå ïðîáëåìè ñ âàíäàëèòå ìîëèì âñè÷êè, êîèòî èìàò
ðîäíèíè, ïîãðåáàíè òóê, äà ïîëîæàò ìàêñèìàëíè óñèëèÿ äà ãè ïîääúðæàò â
ðåä!"
 ãðîáèùå:
"Çàáðàíåíî å äà ñå áåðàò öâåòÿ îñâåí îò ñîáñòâåíèòå ãðîáîâå!"
 áèæóòåðñêè ìàãàçèí:
"Íàøèòå èçäåëèÿ íå òðàÿò äúëãî ïðè òåçè öåíè!"
 äâîðà íà àìåðèêàíñêî ó÷èëèùå:
"Ïðåìèíàâàíåòî áåç ðàçðåøåíèå å çàáðàíåíî!"
Âúðõó ñàïóí ñ ìàðêà "Äàéúë":
"Èçïîëçâàéòå êàòî îáèêíîâåí ñàïóí!"
Íà îïàêîâêàòà íà ïóäèíã, ïðîäàâàí âúâ âåðèãàòà "Ìàðê & Ñïåíñúð": "Ñëåä
çàãðÿâàíå ïðîäóêòúò ñòàâà ãîðåù!"
Íà êóòèÿòà íà þòèÿ "Ðîâåíòà":
"Íå ãëàäåòå äðåõèòå âúðõó ñåáå ñè!"
Íà ïðèñïèâàòåëíîòî íèòîë:
"Ìîæå äà ïðè÷èíè ñúíëèâîñò!"
Íà ñåøîàð "Ñèúðñ":
"Íå óïîòðåáÿâàéòå ïî âðåìå íà ñúí!"
Âúðõó îïàêîâêàòà íà äåòñêè ñèðîï çà êàøëèöà "Áóóò":
"Äà íå ñå èçïîëçâà îò øîôüîðè èëè ìàøèííè îïåðàòîðè!"
Âúðõó êîðåéñêè êóõíåíñêè íîæ:
"Ñúõðàíÿâàéòå èçâúí äåöàòà!"
Âúðõó îïàêîâêàòà íà êèòàéñêè êîëåäíè ñâåùè:
"Ñàìî çà óïîòðåáà íà çàêðèòî èëè íà îòêðèòî!"
Âúðõó êóòèÿòà íà ìèêñåð:
"Äà íå ñå óïîòðåáÿâà çà äðóãè öåëè!"
Íà îïàêîâêàòà íà ëåøíèöè ñ àíãëèéñêàòà ìàðêà "Ñåéíñáúðè":
"Âíèìàíèå: ñúäúðæà ëåøíèöè!"
Íà îïàêîâêàòà íà ïàêåò ëåøíèöè, ïðåäëàãàíè îò àâèîêîìïàíèÿòà "Àìåðèêúí
åúðëàéíç":
"Èíñòðóêöèÿ - îòâîðè ïàêåòà, èçÿæ ëåøíèöèòå!"
Âúðõó êóòèÿòà íà øâåäñêà äúðâîðåçà÷êà:
"Íå ñå îïèòâàéòå äà ñïðåòå ìàøèíàòà ñ ðúöå!"
Íà îïàêîâêàòà íà äåòñêè êîñòþì "Ñóïåðìåí":
"Îáëè÷àíåòî íà òîçè êîñòþì íå âè ïîìàãà äà ïîëåòèòå!"
Âúðõó êóòèÿòà íà ìàøà çà êúäðåíå:
"Íå ÿ çàâèðàéòå â î÷èòå ñè!"
Íà îïàêîâêàòà íà ëèìîíîâ ñîê "Êíóäñåí":
"Ñúäúðæà åñòåñòâåíè åñåíöèè è äðóãè åñòåñòâåíè åñåíöèè!"
Âúðõó êóòèÿ ïóäðà ìàðêà "Ìèñòúð Áúáúë Áàò":
"Äà ñå ñúõðàíÿâà ñóõà çà íàé-äîáúð åôåêò!"
Íà ïðåïàðàò "Ïàëìîëèâ" çà ìèåíå íà ñúäîâå:
"Äà íå ñå èçïîëçâà âúðõó õðàíà!"
Âúðõó òóáè÷êà ïàñòà çà çúáè "Êðåñò":
"Ïðè ïîãëúùàíå îáúðíåòå ñå êúì îðãàíèòå çà ëåêóâàíå íà îòðàâÿíèÿ!"
Âúðõó áóòèëêà ïðåïàðàò çà ïðàíå "Îë":
"Îòâîðåòå áóòèëêàòà, ïðåäè äà ÿ èçñèïåòå â ïåðàëíÿòà!"
Âúðõó êóòèÿ íà ïðàõîñìóêà÷êà:
"Íå ñå ïðåïîðú÷âà çà îòïóøâàíå íà òîàëåòíè!"
Âúðõó îïàêîâêàòà íà ëóêñîçíà çàïàëêà:
"Çàãàñåòå ïëàìúêà, ïðåäè äà ÿ ïðèáåðåòå â äæîáà ñè!"
 àìåðèêàíñêà òîàëåòíà:
"Îòêúñíåòå òîàëåòíàòà õàðòèÿ îò ðîëêàòà ïðåäè óïîòðåáà!"
Íà êîëè÷êà çà ïàçàðóâàíå â ñóïåðìàðêåò:
"Òàçè êîëè÷êà íå å ñíàáäåíà ñ ABS ñïèðà÷êè!"
 ñóøèëíÿ çà äðåõè:
"Íå ñå ïðåïîðú÷âà çà ñóøåíå íà äîìàøíè ëþáèìöè!"
Âúðõó ïðîìèøëåí õëàäèëíèê:
"Òàçè âðàòà íå å èçõîä!"
Âúðõó äîìàøåí õëàäèëíèê:
"Òîçè ïðîäóêò çàïî÷âà äà ôóíêöèîíèðà ñëåä âêëþ÷âàíåòî ìó â åëåêòðè÷åñêàòà
ìðåæà!"
Âúðõó òîñòåð:
"Ïîäàðúê, êîéòî âñåêè ÷ëåí íà ñåìåéñòâîòî öåíè! Àâòîìàòè÷íî èçãàðÿ
ôèëèéêèòå!"
Âúðõó ñåøîàð çà ðúöå â òîàëåòíèòå:
"Ñàìî çà ðúöå! Íåïðàâèëíàòà óïîòðåáà ìîæå äà ïðè÷èíè íàðàíÿâàíå èëè
ñìúðò!"
Âúðõó äðúæêàòà íà ãðàäèíñêè ìàðêó÷:
"Äà íå ñå íàñî÷âà ñðåùó åëåêòðè÷åñêè êîíòàêòè!"
Íà åëåêòðè÷åñêà êîñà÷êà çà òðåâà:
"Âíèìàíèå! Êîãàòî ìîòîðúò å âêëþ÷åí, îñòðèåòî ñå âúðòè!"
Íà ñïðåé ñ áîÿ:
"Íå ïðúñêàé â ëèöåòî! Ñúäúðæà îòðîâà!"
Íà êðåì çà ðúöå:
"Âíèìàíèå! Ïðè êîíòàêò çàïî÷âà äà ëåêóâà êîæàòà!"
Íà ñåííèê çà àâòîìîáèë:
"Âíèìàíèå! Íå øîôèðàéòå ñúñ ñåííèêà íà ïðåäíîòî ñòúêëî!"
Íà êîëè÷êèòå çà ãîëô:
"Íå ñà ïðåäíàçíà÷åíè çà øîñåòà!"
Îòçàä íà ïèëîòñêàòà ñåäàëêà íà ñàìîëåòèòå ÀÓÀÊÑ:
"Ñåäàëêàòà äà áúäå îáúðíàòà íàïðåä ïðè èçëèòàíå è êàöàíå!"
------------------------------
Åòî è íÿêîè ñìåøíè íàèìåíîâàíèÿ íà ìàðêè âèíî ïî ñâåòà:
"Äåáåëî êîïåëå"
"Ïðåâúçõîäíî êúðâàâî áÿëî"
"Ìåðèëèí Ìåðëî"
"Çàïàñèòå íà Ñàíòà Êëàóñ"
"Áàñòèñàé áú÷âàòà"
"Ñëàäêè ïðàñåíöà"
"Ïîä ìàñàòà"
"Âúðõó êàó÷óêîâîòî äúðâî"
"Âàìïèðñêî Ìåðëî"
------------------------------
À êàêâè îáÿâè ñå ïîÿâÿâàò ïî âåñòíèöèòå?
"Ñïåöèàëíî ìåíþ çà âå÷åðÿ: Ïóéêà - $ 2,35; Ïèëå - $ 2,25; Äåöà - $ 2.00!"
"Ïðåâúçõîäåí è åâòèí ðåñòîðàíò. ×óäåñíà õðàíà åêñïåðòíî ñåðâèðàíà îò êåëíåðêè â àïåòèòíà ôîðìà."
"Ñåãà å øàíñúò âè äà ñè ïðîäóï÷èòå óøèòå è äà ñè çàíåñåòå áåçïëàòåí ÷èôò âêúùè!"
"Ñòðàõîòíè ÷îðàïîãàùè! Ïðåäíàçíà÷åíè çà åëåãàíòíî îáëåêëî, íî òîëêîâà
ïðàêòè÷íè, ÷å ìíîãî æåíè íå íîñÿò íèùî äðóãî!"
"Êîëè âòîðà óïîòðåáà: Çàùî äà õîäèòå äà âè ëúæàò äðóãàäå? Åëàòå íàé-íàïðåä
ïðè íàñ!"
"Íàøèÿò áîäèáèëäèíã - òðàåí çà öÿë æèâîò!"
Sarcasm is just one more service I îffer.
Me, mad? Haha... quite likely.There is life. There is death. And then there is me.
-
11th July 2004 05:06 #2
Íàèñòèíà èìà íÿêîè ìíîãî ñïîëó÷ëèâè.

Íàäïèñúò âúðõó êóòèÿòà íà "Ðîâåíòà" ñúì ãî âèæäàëà ñ î÷èòå ñè.
À åé òîâà òðÿáâà äà ñå ðàçëåïè ïî âñè÷êè àâòîêúùè â Áúëãàðèÿ:
:lol:"Êîëè âòîðà óïîòðåáà: Çàùî äà õîäèòå äà âè ëúæàò äðóãàäå? Åëàòå íàé-íàïðåä ïðè íàñ!"
-
11th July 2004 08:51 #3Dark SkywalkerGuest
Âúðõó êóòèÿòà íà äåòñêà ïëàñòìàñîâà þòèéêà íàâðåìåòî ïèøåøå "Âíèìàíèå! Äðúæòå äàëå÷ îò òîïëèíà."

Ïóñêàì íåùî ïîäîáíî, ñàìî ÷å íà àíãëèéèñêè. Íÿêîè íåùà ñå ïîâòàðÿò, íî ïúê çâó÷àò ïî-ñìåøíî â îðèãèíàë. Íà ìåí ëþáèìîòî ìè å âòîðîòî - "Êëèåíòèòå, êîèòî íàìèðàò íàøèòå ñåðâèòüîðêè çà ãðóáè, òðÿáâà äà âèäÿò óïðàâèòåëÿ."
In a foreign cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
Hotel notice, Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM
Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT [Elevator] IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.
-
11th July 2004 11:37 #4Åé òâà ìå ðàçáè ãðîáèùå:
"Çàáðàíåíî å äà ñå áåðàò öâåòÿ îñâåí îò ñîáñòâåíèòå ãðîáîâå!"
Òâà ñúùî å ìíîî ÿêî!"Êëèåíòèòå, êîèòî íàìèðàò íàøèòå ñåðâèòüîðêè çà ãðóáè, òðÿáâà äà âèäÿò óïðàâèòåëÿ."
Ïîâå÷åòî íå ãè áÿõ ÷åë. Êúðòÿò íàïðàî
Ãîòèíî å äà ñè âàæåí íî ïî-âàæíî å äà ñè ãîòèí!




Reply With Quote
Äðàçíåù LOG â Ìèêðîòèê
6th May 2023, 12:03 in Ìðåæè