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17th August 2004 12:16 #1
ABBOTT and COSTELLO Buy A Computer
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
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17th August 2004 12:31 #2
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17th August 2004 12:44 #3Registered User
Join Date: Feb:2004
Location: Where you live
Posts: 8,878
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17th August 2004 13:31 #4
:)
. :
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!Gigabyte X570 AORUS Ultra | 5950X | Arctic Liquid Freezer II 240 | Corsair Vengeance LPX 2x8GB 3200Mhz | Samsung 980 Pro 1TB + Samsung 970 Pro 1TB | Gigabyte AORUS GeForce RTX 3080 Ti Master 12GB | Fractal Design Meshify C Dark TG | Corsair AX860i | Samsung U32H850 32" 4K
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17th August 2004 13:42 #5
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17th August 2004 15:02 #6
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17th August 2004 17:04 #7
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17th August 2004 18:21 #8
, .
ABBOTT: ?
COSTELLO: ? ?
ABBOTT: ?
: XP.Core3i/Core2duo/p4/p3 powered;
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17th August 2004 19:01 #9
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
, , ...
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17th August 2004 23:25 #10...Originally posted by Veseliq
[B , , ...
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18th August 2004 11:22 #11
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18th August 2004 11:25 #12
""?!?
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18th August 2004 11:41 #13
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18th August 2004 17:52 #14
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19th August 2004 03:14 #15
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19th August 2004 03:45 #16
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19th August 2004 11:18 #17
( ), ....

UNIX :
-------------------------------------------
Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question:
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?
UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it ?
UNIX consul: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one ?
UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consul: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?
UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one?
UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what
program' to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.
Customer: Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your
system.
Customer: Write what?
UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer: Cut that out!
UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the
options.
Customer: Do you always do this?
UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer: HELP!
UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System.
Customer: You make me angry.
UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.
Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.
Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.
Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team...ASRock Z68 Extreme4 Gen3 Intel I7-3770K @ 4.7GHz 32GB Crucial Ballistix Elite MSI GTX 1080 Aero 8GB OC Seasonic X-660 Gold Samsung 970 PRO 1TB SB X-Fi Elite Pro HP LP2465
HAF X Aquaero 5 XT Black Ice GTX 360 Swiftech Apogee GTZ EK-FC1080 GTX Laing DDC-3.25 + XSPC top
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19th August 2004 16:17 #18
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
....:lol:The Fatter - The Better !
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20th August 2004 19:43 #19
[bg]a move li da pomolq nqkoi da mi go prewede
]oto ni]o ne razbiram -ne e na bylgarski.
[/bg]
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21st August 2004 03:02 #20
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edit : , . -
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Last edited by nykona; 21st August 2004 at 11:32.
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21st August 2004 09:27 #21
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23rd August 2004 02:15 #22, .Originally posted by
[bg]a move li da pomolq nqkoi da mi go prewede
]oto ni]o ne razbiram -ne e na bylgarski.
[/bg]
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25th August 2004 13:53 #23
gtzvetkov [bg]dobre kavi
[/bg]
ErOx [bg]mnogo mersi!!!
))))))))))))))))))[/bg]
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25th August 2004 15:14 #24PM, .Originally posted by
gtzvetkov [bg]dobre kavi
[/bg]
Kick-Ass




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