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  1. #1
    Modding Addict Apocalypse's Avatar
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    ABBOTT and COSTELLO Buy A Computer

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm
    sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
    some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
    Internet?
    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your business. Just tell me what I need!
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
    watch them?
    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great! With what?
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
    do?
    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1".
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?
    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
    of Office.
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
    bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
    A FEW DAYS LATER . .
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

    .
    ,

  2. #2
    HARDWAREBG MOD MACHINE alex_matrix's Avatar
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    ...

    ... ...

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    .......

  4. #4
    Registered User CYPER's Avatar
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    :)

    . :


    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your business. Just tell me what I need!
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  5. #5
    Registered User subn3t's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr:2003
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    Re:

    :

    Originally posted by Apocalypse
    ABBOTT and COSTELLO Buy A Computer

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    ...
    .

  6. #6
    Registered User Smoky's Avatar
    Join Date: Aug:2001
    Location: BG
    Posts: 1,339

  7. #7

  8. #8
    Pattern Finder waterman's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofiq, Bulgaria
    Posts: 123
    , .

    ABBOTT: ?
    COSTELLO: ? ?
    ABBOTT: ?

    : XP.
    Core3i/Core2duo/p4/p3 powered;

  9. #9
    Registered User Veseliq's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar:2004
    Location:
    Posts: 2,289
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
    bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



    , , ...

  10. #10
    ddobrev's Avatar
    Join Date: Feb:2004
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    Originally posted by Veseliq
    [B , , ... [/B]
    ...

  11. #11
    Modding Addict Apocalypse's Avatar
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    , 2
    ,

  12. #12
    redhat Manchev's Avatar
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    ""?!?

  13. #13
    pimpirlit's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Manchev
    ""?!?
    ...

  14. #14
    Banned ErOx's Avatar
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    aaaa ,

  15. #15
    martooo2003's Avatar
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    • , , ...

  16. #16
    . BobyTT's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Manchev
    ""?!?
    .

  17. #17
    Registered User rad's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 439
    ( ), ....

    UNIX :

    -------------------------------------------

    Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question:

    Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?

    UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.

    Customer: No, what is it ?

    UNIX consul: Yes.

    Customer: So, which is the one ?

    UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.

    Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?

    UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo.

    Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?

    UNIX consul: Use 'what'.

    Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?

    UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.

    Customer: Which one?

    UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'

    Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?

    UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what
    program' to get the revision code.

    Customer: I want to find the revision code.

    UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.

    Customer: Which command will do what I need?

    UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.

    Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.

    UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your
    system.

    Customer: Write what?

    UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.

    Customer: Cut that out!

    UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the
    options.

    Customer: Do you always do this?

    UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.

    Customer: HELP!

    UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System.

    Customer: You make me angry.

    UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.

    Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.

    UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.

    Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!

    UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.

    Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.

    UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team...
    ASRock Z68 Extreme4 Gen3 Intel I7-3770K @ 4.7GHz 32GB Crucial Ballistix Elite MSI GTX 1080 Aero 8GB OC Seasonic X-660 Gold Samsung 970 PRO 1TB SB X-Fi Elite Pro HP LP2465
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  18. #18
    Fat Man! penywise's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr:2004
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    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


    ....:lol:
    The Fatter - The Better !

  19. #19
    Registered User 's Avatar
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    [bg]a move li da pomolq nqkoi da mi go prewede ]oto ni]o ne razbiram -ne e na bylgarski. [/bg]

  20. #20
    Registered User nykona's Avatar
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    ...

    . .
    edit : , . - . . .
    Last edited by nykona; 21st August 2004 at 11:32.

  21. #21
    Kick-Ass gtzvetkov's Avatar
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    , , .
    , , PM.
    Kick-Ass

  22. #22
    Banned ErOx's Avatar
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    Originally posted by
    [bg]a move li da pomolq nqkoi da mi go prewede ]oto ni]o ne razbiram -ne e na bylgarski. [/bg]
    , .

    .

    - ? ? ?
    - ( ).
    - ?!
    - .
    - - ?! ?
    - .
    - ?
    - Microsoft .
    - ?!!
    - ? .
    ...
    - JarComputers, ?
    - ?
    - "" ..........




  23. #23
    Registered User 's Avatar
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    gtzvetkov [bg]dobre kavi[/bg]

    ErOx [bg]mnogo mersi!!! ))))))))))))))))))[/bg]

  24. #24
    Kick-Ass gtzvetkov's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul:2001
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    Originally posted by
    gtzvetkov [bg]dobre kavi[/bg]
    PM, .
    Kick-Ass

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