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  1. #1
    Õàìàëèí Dockera's Avatar
    Join Date: Feb:2003
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 572

    Ìîçúêúò íà ìúæà ñå...

    Ìîçúêúò íà ìúæà ñå ñúñòîè îò ñëåäíèòå áëîêîâå:
    1. Äàò÷èê "Ãëàäåí ñúì" è "æàäåí" åñòåñòâåíî Ðàáîòè âèíàãè!!
    2. Ñåíçîð "Èñêàì ñåêñ". Ñ âðåìåòî ïðåãàðÿ. Èìà òðè ïîëîæåíèÿ:
    - Èñêàì;
    - Èñêàì òà íå ñå òðàå;
    - Òóê è ñåãà.
    3. Öåíòúð çà àóäèî âúçäåéñòâèÿ. Âõîäíè äàííè:
    - ìàãè÷åñêà íåêîìïðåñèðàíà ìóçèêà, 16áèò è íàãîðå, 44êõö, ñòåðåî è óñèëåíà;
    - çâóê îò íàëèâàíå íà àëêîõîë â ÷àøà;
    - áëàãîäàðíè ïîõëèïâàíèÿ íà óäîâëåòâîðåíà æåíà.
    4. Öåíòúð çà îïðåäåëÿíå íà âèäà áèðà.
    5. Áëîê çà âçèìàíå íà ñòðàòåãè÷åñêè ðåøåíèÿ. Ðåøåíèå ïî ïîäðàçáèðàíå -
    Ìàéíàòà ìó íà âñè÷êî... Äàé îùå äâå áèðè!!
    6. Àâòîïèëîò äî äîìà.
    7. Ãåíåðàòîð íà îòãîâîðè íà âúïðîñà: Êúäå õîäèø áå õàéìàíà?. Ñ âðåìåòî îò ïðèìèòèâíî óñòðîéñòâî ñå ïðåâðúùà âúâ âèñîêîèíòåëèãåíòåí ïðèáîð ñ èçîñòðåíà ëîãèêà.
    8. Àâòîìàòè÷åí áëîê çà îòãîâîð "Ñêúïà äàé äà ãî îáñúäèì ïî-êúñíî".
    9. Âèñîêîìîùåí çàãëóøèòåë íà ñúâåñò.
    10. Äàëåêîìåð "Ñàìêà".  ðåàëíî âðåìå ðàç÷èòà ÒÒ äàííè íà áàçàòà íà âèçóàëíî âúçïðèÿòèå. Íàé-ñúâúðøåíèòå ïîçâîëÿâàò äà ñå íàïðàâè èçâîä îò òèïà "ùå ìè ïóñíå/íÿìà äà ìè ïóñíå".
    Â ñòàíäàðòíàòà èíñòàëàöèÿ èìà ôóíêöèè çà îïðåäåëÿíå ðàçìåðà íà ãúðäèòå, ñòåãíàòîñòòà íà çàäíèêà è äðóãè. Ïðè íÿêîè ìîäåëè - ñïåöèàëíà ïðèñòàâêà çà îïðåäåëÿíå íà èíòåëåêòà - "òúïà/ïî÷òè òúïà".
    11. Ãåíåðàòîð íà âîëÿ çà çíèìàíèå ñúñ ñïîðò. ×åñòî ñå ïîâðåæäà.
    12. Äàò÷èê íà íèâîòî íà íàñèùàíå ñ àëêîõîë. Ïðè ìíîãî åêçåìïëÿðè îòñúñòâà èëè íå ðàáîòè. Óìèøëåíî ïðîïóñíàòà.
    14. Ðåãèñòðè çà âðåìåííî ñúõðàíåíèå íà ðåçóëòàòè îò ñïîðòíè ìåðîïðèÿòèÿ.
    15. Ñòîïêðàí-áëîêèðîâêà "×óæäà æåíà". Ïðè îñîáåíî ãíóñíèòå òèïîâå å âàíäàëñêè ïîâðåäåí ñ îòâåðòêà.
    16. Ìàëúê, áàâåí è ðàçíåáèòåí íîñèòåë íà ñúâåñò. Èìà ïðîòèâåí ãëàñ è íå äàâà äà ñïèø íîùåì. Íåóòðàëèçèðà ñå ñ òî÷êà 9.
    17. Èìèòàòîð íà áóðíà äåéíîñò. Ïðåç ðàáîòíî âðåìå ðàáîòè íà ïúëíà ìîùíîñò.
    18. Áëîêîâå çà ïîâòîðåíèå - èñêàì ïàðè, èñêàì íîâà êîëà, íîâ CD-ïëåúð, è ò.í.
    19. Ñèìóëàòîð "Äîìàøåí ìàéñòîð".
    20. ×åðíà êóòèÿ "Äóøà".  ìíîãî ñëó÷àè äîñòúïà å ñàìî çà îãðàíè÷åí êðúã ïðèÿòåëè è åäíà-äâå ëþáîâíèöè.
    21. Håîíîâà ðåêëàìà ñ íàäïèñ "èíòåëåêò". Ðÿäêî ñâåòè.
    22. Àíàëèçàòîð íà ëàíäøàôòà. Ïðè ìàõìóðëóê è îñîáåíî â ïîíåäåëíèê ñóòðèí äàâà îòâðàòèòåëíè êàðòèíêè. Ðåãèñòðèðà ïîëåòè íà çåëåíè êó÷åòà. Ïèøå ïî íåáåòî íåïðèëè÷íè íàäïèñè.
    23. Òàéìåð. Ïðèìåð çà ïðîãðàìèðàíå: Ïåòúê. Îêîëî 17.30. Äà ñå ïðèáèðàì ëè? ß ïî-äîáðå äà ïèéíà åäíà-äâå áèðè!

  2. #2
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    Êîëêî äîáðå ñà ãî îïèñàëè ...

    7. Ãåíåðàòîð íà îòãîâîðè íà âúïðîñà: Êúäå õîäèø áå õàéìàíà?. Ñ âðåìåòî îò ïðèìèòèâíî óñòðîéñòâî ñå ïðåâðúùà âúâ âèñîêîèíòåëèãåíòåí ïðèáîð ñ èçîñòðåíà ëîãèêà.
    15. Ñòîïêðàí-áëîêèðîâêà "×óæäà æåíà". Ïðè îñîáåíî ãíóñíèòå òèïîâå å âàíäàëñêè ïîâðåäåí ñ îòâåðòêà.
    16. Ìàëúê, áàâåí è ðàçíåáèòåí íîñèòåë íà ñúâåñò. Èìà ïðîòèâåí ãëàñ è íå äàâà äà ñïèø íîùåì. Íåóòðàëèçèðà ñå ñ òî÷êà 9.
    19. Ñèìóëàòîð "Äîìàøåí ìàéñòîð".
    Òå âñè÷êèòå ñà òî÷íè íî òåçè ïðîñòî ...


    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  3. #3
    Registered User __SpOO__'s Avatar
    Join Date: Dec:2003
    Location: Âàðíà
    Posts: 5,481
    Ïîðåäíèòå "óìíîñòè" îò òèïà "çà ìúæà" èëè "çà æåíàòà", êúäåòî â 99% îò ñëó÷àèòå äóìè÷êèòå "ìúæ" è "æåíà" ñà àáñîëþòíî âçàèìîçàìåíÿåìè

    Èíà÷å å ñâåæî è êåôè.
    bq! DB Pro 900 r2 | MSI Z690 Unify X | 13900K + Supercool Direct Die WB + 2x DDC 4.2 + Watercool HK Dual DDC + EK-Q FLT 240 + MO-RA3 420 + 11x EK-Furious Vardar 140 | Kingston DDR5 2x16GB@7200MHz | ASUS ROG Strix 3090 | Samsung 980 PRO 500GB | Corsair K95 | SF Leadex Titanium 1600W | Dell G3223Q

  4. #4
    Dark Skywalker
    Guest
    Ëèïñâà òî÷êà 13! Èñêàì ñè òî÷êà 13!! Öåíçóðà!! Öåí-çó-ðà!!! :boom:

  5. #5
    Dark Traveler massacre's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Ta'Xbiex, Malta
    Posts: 7,100
    Àáå, àç ñúì ãî ÷åë òîâà è íàé-íàêðàÿ ïèøåøå, çàùî ëèïñâà ò. 13, àìà êàòî íå ìîãà äà íàìåðÿ ôàéëà...
    Sarcasm is just one more service I îffer.
    Me, mad? Haha... quite likely.
    There is life. There is death. And then there is me.

  6. #6
    Moderator Furcy's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov:2001
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 611
    õàõàõàõàõà
    ñóïåð å ...
    à ò.13..ìè...íåìà ÿ :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Programming is like sex:
    One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

  7. #7
    Fat Man! penywise's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr:2004
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 536
    *áè ìó ì@éêàòà... ìàé ñàìî àç íå ñúì êàçàë "Áðåé... ò.13 ëèïñâà...":lol:

    Äîáðî å êàòî çàìèñúë
    The Fatter - The Better !

  8. #8
    Registered User Twinsis's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: just good to be home
    Posts: 4,062
    íîìåð uno
    I'll be in the sky.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date: Feb:2004
    Location: Where you live
    Posts: 8,878
    áóàõàõàõà êåôè íà ìàêñ, ñóïåð

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Join Date: Oct:2004
    Posts: 5
    à ò.13..ìè...íåìà ÿ :boom:

  11. #11
    Registered User Svetlix's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar:2003
    Location: Ïëåâåí
    Posts: 3,260
    Òîâà ñúì ãî ÷åë â äðóã ôîðóì ... èíà÷å å ìíîî ñâåæî

    À åòî è óñòðîéñòâî íà ìúæêè ìîçàê
    Ãîòèíî å äà ñè âàæåí íî ïî-âàæíî å äà ñè ãîòèí!

  12. #12
    Fat Man! penywise's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr:2004
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 536
    ÅÑÒÅÑÒÂÅÍÈ ÎÏÈÀÒÈ

    Êðàñèâèòå æåíè äåéñòâàò êàòî äðîãà

    ×àðúò íà íåæíèÿ ïîë âëèÿå äèðåêòíî íà ìúæêèÿ ìîçúê, äîêàçàëè àìåðèêàíñêè ó÷åíè

    Åêñïåðòè îò Ìàñà÷óçåòñêèÿ òåõíîëîãè÷åí èíñòèòóò òâúðäÿò, ÷å çà ìúæà æåíñêàòà êðàñîòà å êàòî äîçàòà îïèàò çà íàðêîìàíà. Ðåçóëòàòè îò èçñëåäâàíèÿ ñúñ ñêåíåð ñà ïîêàçàëè ñúùî, ÷å ÷àðîâåòå íà íåæíèÿ ïîë âëèÿÿò âúðõó ìúæêèÿ ìîçúê íà íàé-ïðèìèòèâíî ðàâíèùå.
    Íà õåòåðîñåêñóàëíè ìúæå áèëè ïîêàçâàíè ñíèìêè íà ïðèâëåêàòåëíè æåíè è ÷ðåç èçñëåäâàíå ñúñ ñêåíåð ñå óñòàíîâèëî, ÷å â ìîçúêà èì ñå àêòèâèçèðàëè ñúùèòå çîíè, êîèòî ñå àêòèâèçèðàò è ïðè âèäà íà õðàíà è êîêàèí.
    Ïî-íàòàòúøíîòî èçñëåäâàíå ìîæå äà äîêàæå, ÷å ó ìúæåòå å âðîäåíî çíàíèåòî çà òîâà êîå å êðàñèâî è êîå íå, ïðîãíîçèðàò èçñëåäîâàòåëèòå.
    Âúâ âòîðî èçñëåäâàíå íà ìúæå â ïðîäúëæåíèå íà íÿêîëêî ñåêóíäè ñà áèëè ïîêàçàíè ïðîèçâîëíè ñíèìêè íà æåíè. Ñ íàòèñêàíå íà êëàâèøè ó÷àñòíèöèòå â åêñïåðèìåíòà ìîæåëè äà óäúëæàò èëè äà ñúêðàòÿò ðàçãëåæäàíåòî íà ñíèìêèòå. Ôîòîñèòå íà ïðèâëåêàòåëíè æåíè ñà áèëè ãëåäàíè ñðåäíî 8,7 ñåêóíäè, à îñòàíàëèòå - 5,2 ñåêóíäè.
    Ìúæåòå ÿðîñòíî íàòèñêàëè êîï÷åòàòà, çà äà çàäúðæàò ïî-äúëãî íà åêðàíà êðàñèâèòå æåíè.  ïðîäúëæåíèå íà 40 ìèíóòè âñåêè îò òÿõ íàòèñêàë êëàâèøèòå ñðåäíî ïîâå÷å îò 6700 ïúòè.
    Åäèí îò èçñëåäîâàòåëèòå êîìåíòèðàë: "Òåçè õîðà ïðèëè÷àò íà ãðèçà÷è, íàòèñêàùè ëîñò÷åòà, êîèòî èì ïóñêàò êîêàèí".

    Source: http://www.segabg.com/13112001/p0080001.asp

    Öèòàò: "Ïî-íàòàòúøíîòî èçñëåäâàíå ìîæå äà äîêàæå, ÷å ó ìúæåòå å âðîäåíî çíàíèåòî çà òîâà êîå å êðàñèâî è êîå íå, ïðîãíîçèðàò èçñëåäîâàòåëèòå."


    Î áîé Î áîé Î áîé...
    The Fatter - The Better !

  13. #13
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    ñêëîííà ñúì äà íå ñå ñúãëàñÿ ...
    ëþáîâ, âÿðíîñò, íåæíîñò ... ìíîãî ãîëÿìà ÷àñò å îòäåëåíà çà òÿõ ...
    ïðè ïîâå÷åòî ìúæå, êîéòî ïîçíàâàì, ïî÷òè ëèïñâàò è ñ ãîäèíèòå íàìàëÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿâàò ...
    ëè÷íî ìíåíèå ...

    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  14. #14
    Fat Man! penywise's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr:2004
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 536
    È òâà ìèíàâà çà äîáðî
    The Fatter - The Better !

  15. #15
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    Äà , ìàé å ïî-äîáðî

    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  16. #16
    ïîëçâà redhat Manchev's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2002
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 3,830
    Originally posted by Alizee
    ...
    Ëþáîâ, âÿðíîñò...
    WTF? íå òàêà, â åäèí äèíàìè÷åí ñâÿò, ñòèãàíë äî äâàäåñåò è ïúðâèÿ ñè âåê òîâà ñà çàãóáèëè ñìèñúëà ñè ïîíÿòèÿ. Íÿìà ìÿñòî çà òÿõ ïðîñòî àêî èñêàø äà ñè íàïðåä.
    Ëè÷íî ìíåíèå âñå ïàê.

  17. #17
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    Ñúæàëÿâàì, íî ÿâíî ìíåíèÿòà íè êîðåííî ñå ðàçëè÷àâàò ...

    È íàèñòèíà ñúæàëÿâàì, ÷å ìèñëèø òàêà ... ïðîñòî ...
    äà îñòàâèì ëþáîâòà, íî âÿðíîñò ... áåç íåÿ íàêúäå?
    Êàêòî è äà å ....


    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  18. #18
    ïîëçâà redhat Manchev's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2002
    Location: Ñîôèÿ
    Posts: 3,830
    Äîñòà àáñòðàêòíî ïîíÿòèå ñòàíà âå÷å è âÿðàòà. Äðóãè ñà âðåìåíàòà, àç ïîíå òàêà çàáåëÿçâàì. Íèùî, ÷å òîâà äâèæè ñâåòà, èìà è ïî-èíòåðåñíè çàíèìàíèÿ ( è âñè÷êè âúçìîæíè êîìáèíàöèè îò òÿõ)

  19. #19
    Unreg'd D_Freak's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep:2004
    Location: Âàðíà
    Posts: 86
    Ìîçúêà ñè å ìíîî äîáúð àìà òðÿáâàøå è íÿêîÿ áèðà äà èìà...
    Hmph...

  20. #20
    Unreg'd D_Freak's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep:2004
    Location: Âàðíà
    Posts: 86
    Å ïîíå âÿðíîñò òðÿáâà äà èìà...
    Hmph...

  21. #21
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    Å áèðàòà ñå ïîäðàçáèðà ... èëè èñêàø îòäåëíî îò ïèåíåòî äà ÿ ñëîæàò?


    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  22. #22
    Unreg'd D_Freak's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep:2004
    Location: Âàðíà
    Posts: 86
    Çà ìîçúêà íà Penywize ñòàâàøå äóìà...
    Hmph...

  23. #23
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    è çà äà íå ñå ÷óâñòâàò îùåòåíè ìúæåòå ...







    Ï.Ñ Äîêî ìå íàêàðà è ìå áè è...
    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

  24. #24
    Kick-Ass gtzvetkov's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul:2001
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 3,772
    Originally posted by Alizee
    è çà äà íå ñå ÷óâñòâàò îùåòåíè ìúæåòå ...

    Ï.Ñ Äîêî ìå íàêàðà è ìå áè è...
    Îïðàâäàíèÿ! Íà âñè÷êîòî îòãîðå íå ìèíàâàø ñ òÿõ.

    Ï.ï. Åìî, âåðíî ëè ñè òîëêîâà ëîø? Äà íå èçâàäÿ :jedi: è äà òè ïðàâÿ :lol:
    Kick-Ass

  25. #25
    Deteto Alizee's Avatar
    Join Date: May:2003
    Location: Sofia
    Posts: 310
    Íàèñòèíà å òîëêîâà ëîø, áè ìå ... è ñèíêè èìàì ...
    àêî òðÿáâà ùå ïîêàçâàì ...
    ñàìî äà íå ñå ïåòíè èìåòî ìè õà àõà õà õà





    Ï.Ñ. èçâèíòå çà ëîøèÿ ïðàâîïøèñ... :somke:
    Who màkås you fåål the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
    The greatest thing... You'll ever learn ...
    Is just to love and be loved in return ...

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