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15th December 2005 18:03 #1
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15th December 2005 18:33 #2
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15th December 2005 21:06 #3
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15th December 2005 23:13 #4
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15th December 2005 23:48 #5
[bg]E kak be, eto go originalyt, towa zabrawq li se[/bg]
The European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
1. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters kan have one less letter.
2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
3. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they would go.
4. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
5. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plac....
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[bg]Nqkoj naistina ako e `uwal nemci kak "goworqt" na anglijski to`no taka si e (]oto e mnogo moderno tuk da se demonstrira priqtelsko otno[enie kym `uvdestrannite narodi [/bg]
The holiday was fun-packed,
The contract, still intact
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16th December 2005 01:28 #6
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Wona day I'm gonna to Malta to biga hotel. Ina morning, I go downa to eata breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna 2 pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want to piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I want to piss on the my plate. She say you better not piss on the plate you son of a beach (bitch). I don't even know the lady and she calling me son of a beach (bitch).
Later I go to eata at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock (fork). I tella I wanted the fock. She telle me everyony wanna fock. I tella you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you son of a beach.
So I go back to my home ina hotel. And there is no sheets on the bed. Call the manager, I'm telle him, I wanna sheet. He telle me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand I wanna sheet on my bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed, you son of a beach.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say "peace on you" and I say "piss on you, too, you son of a beach". I'm gonna back to Italia. Arrivederci.
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16th December 2005 08:59 #7, .... * ...
Originally Posted by headofmusic
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16th December 2005 09:57 #8, '*'
Originally Posted by
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Edit: , ...Last edited by headofmusic; 16th December 2005 at 10:29.




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